Lovecraftian School Board Member Urges Pro-Madness Curriculum to Prepare Students for Awaiting Chaos
Nyarlathotep
A concerned Arkham, MA school board member believes that Nyarlathotep Academy (formerly known as Abraham Lincoln High) inadequately prepares students for the black seas of infinity.
Arguing that students should return to the fundamentals taught in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon in order to develop the skills they need to be driven to the very edge of sanity, Arkham school board member Charles West continued to advance his pro-madness agenda at the district’s monthly meeting Tuesday.
“Fools!” said West, his clenched fist striking the lectern before him. “We must prepare today’s youth for a world whose terrors are etched upon ancient clay tablets recounting the fever-dreams of the other gods—not fill their heads with such trivia as math and English. Our graduates need to know about those who lie beneath the earth, waiting until the stars align so they can return to their rightful place as our masters and wage war against the Elder Things and the shoggoths!”
Read more about his quest to provide students with regular field trips to the Miskatonic University medieval metaphysics department.
Via Mystery of the Haunted Vampire
Mountains of Psychedelic Madness
I might be in the minority, but I think 60s band H.P. Lovecraft was pretty good. Like some of their harsher critics I find the prospect of listening to an entire album at once a little much, but many of their songs were fun tributes to some of weird fiction’s most famous stories.
Music is supposed to be enjoyed, not pondered, so here’s a video someone uploaded of their song At the Mountains of Madness. Groovy!
Elder Sign
A reader sent me this hilarious spoof of those insufferable drug commercials that infest the airwaves which has a Lovecraftian twist. The production values are surprisingly good and the writing is better than anything on television these days. Enjoy:
Alice Cooper-Vengeance is Mine
Alice Cooper was one of several artists who released albums last year that were not given the attention they deserve. His most recent album Along Came a Spider is conceptually reminiscent of his 70s work while keeping the best of his 80s glam sound.
Slick, gritty and campy the title track,which features Slash on guitar, proves Alice hasn’t lost a step while out on the golf course. Enjoy:
Like any good celebrity Alice has a MySpace page where you can keep up with him and he has a YouTube channel. What more can you ask for?
I mean besides his radio program and the fact he’s going to be touring this summer.
Conviction
Fewdio has done it again with this deceptively simple horror short wherein a young college co-ed sanctimoniously lectures an unseen friend on the telephone on the foolishness of faith and the meaninglessness universe unaware that her nihilism is about to be put to the ultimate test. As a metaphor for Lovecraft and his personal philosophy the movie captures the horror of a random cosmos in which humanity is a pretentious and insignificant beast preyed upon by entities devoid of morality.
As a comment on the faddish humanism that permeates higher education the piece works even better, exposing post-modern intellectualism for the egotistical conceit that it is. Enjoy:
Creepy Cute Cthulhu, Nosferatu, and Death
Apparently fiendish little toys don’t just make themselves. Luckily Christen Haden, a.k.a. NeedleNoodles, has written an instructional guide called Creepy Cute Crochet. From the back cover:
Creepy Cute Crochet features more than 20 unique patterns for totally loveable zombies, ninjas, Vikings, vampires, aliens, robots, and even Death himself. Each easy-to-follow pattern is presented with step-by-step diagrams, hilarious commentary, and full-color photographs of the bloodcurdlingly sweet creatures in their natural environments.
There are also instructions for crocheting Nosferatu, Cthulhu, a devil, and a skeleton bride and groom. You can view photos of completed dolls in the Creepy Cute Crochet Flickr pool. They’re way better than crocheted puppies and bunnies!
If you aren’t the crafty type, finished dolls are available at the NeedleNoodles Etsy shop. No crocheting required.